Valentines Day Tip #1: Unplug To Connect
Intimate connection between partners depends on creative ways to stay present to each other. This single Gottman method research tip best summarizes the core issue in all relationships.
Gottman Research
The Three Top Tips for A Happy and Healthy Relationship: Gottman Research Gems
Dr. John and Julie Gottman have been studying relationships for a long time. John’s longitudinal research on the course of relationships began in 1975 after teaming with Dr Robert Levenson to determine why some relationships can be like ticking time bombs ending in divorce
The Gottman Research On Meaning: Why This Is Important
This is the core of intimacy, partners feeling seen and accepted for who they are, and each knowing what is important to the other. My initial confusion as a Gottman therapist about the Meaning component gave way to a simple awareness about the importance of partners communicating love by asking and listening to the right questions.
What Predicts Divorce? It’s About Influence
Most people familiar with the Drs. John and Julie’s Gottman research on divorce prediction and prevention are likely to have heard of the Four Horsemen. These are the pervasive negative and destructive interactions that are known to predict divorce and relationship dissatisfaction. However, there is much more to the story on those predictors.
Creating Moments of Closeness Can Change Your Relationship
How do successful couples create consistent emotional closeness, enduring patterns of love and intimacy? We have learned a lot from the Gottman research about what works in happy relationships, and we know what reliably predicts distressed relationships.
When Arguments Are Like A Memory Foam Pillow
It was a mystery. My poor wife was waking up in the morning and starting the day with a headache. “What do you think is causing these headaches honey”,”
Relationship Busters We Don’t Talk Enough About: Part 3 of 3
In this last of three articles on divorce predictors I cover Meta-emotion mismatch and Escalating Anger.
Relationship Busters We Don’t Talk Enough About: Part 2 of 3
Gottman is well known for his divorce prediction research. In this 2nd of 3 articles I discuss an overlooked/misunderstood predictor: Accepting Influence
Relationship Busters We Don’t Talk Enough About: Part 1 of 3
The Gottman Research has identified the high risk couples for divorce. There are three predictors that tend to get overlooked when reviewing the Gottman research. I review them in this series of three articles
How to Strengthen Your Relationship? Think More Like a Cow
Who would have thought that when it comes to qualities, it turns out that cows have a number of innate behaviors and social characteristics that translate really well into creating happy and healthy relationships in our species.
Love Lab Goes Live: An Interview with Carrie Cole, Gottman Director of Research
The original Gottman Love Lab first opened in 1986 at the University of Washington. The new Love Lab recently opened, …
Love Lab Goes Live: An Interview with Carrie Cole, Gottman Director of Research Continue
Why Talking About Nothing Means Everything
We have learned from the research that it isn’t what couples talk about that predicts success. Taking the time to talk to each other, literally about anything, sets the stage for deeper conversations when needed.
One of the Most Important and Overlooked Relationship Builders
What the Research Shows Us The research is pretty clear, there are innate needs that we are hardwired for – …
One of the Most Important and Overlooked Relationship Builders Continue
Stop! In the Name of Love
My wife and I took advantage of a little 24 hour get-a-way this weekend. These 24 hour breaks are a long-standing tradition of ours and one we had not done in a while. They are great because while we are able to take time for ourselves it doesn’t take all weekend, which then allows us time to manage some of the stuff that we need to take care of: not a bad compromise. So we were walking on a windy Northern California beach after sunset, when I noticed my wife had her warm little beanie on.
