conflict

Three Toxic Relationship Behaviors: Part 2 – Up, Up & Away

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Couple Arguing

Research indicates that a powerful predictor of relationship harm is when the conflict starts at a low intensity but then starts to quickly escalate so that, like a space ship, once it’s launched you are up, up, and away heading to the dark outer rim of reason and emotional control. This is when partners become “flooded”, a reference to the brain releasing stress hormones, increased heart rate, and lizard brain survival instincts with listening and problem-solving skills not accesable. The frontal lobe, which controls impulse control and executive function is on pause – “Houston we have a problem”

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Three Toxic Relationship Behaviors: Part 1 of 3

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The couples at risk are the ones where one or more of these harmful behaviors are pervasive and occurring over time. The lack of connection from the harmful behavior makes repairs less likely leading to escalating conflict and eventually partner withdrawal. his first toxic relationship behavior refers to a pattern in the relationship where the partner’s ideas, thoughts, and feelings don’t seem to make a difference, or have any impact, acknowledgement or respect. The partner feels like they don’t have a voice or any power.

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Same Arguments, Here is How to Break the Cycle

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My boyfriend and I rarely fight — and when we do, it seems to always come back to the same issue. I’m a more social person than he is. I like to go to occasional parties together and sometimes host friends at our place. He never wants to go to parties and and doesn’t like to host. We’ve spoken about it, but it continues to come up and be an issue, especially when I ask him to go to parties with me and he refuses. How do I keep this argument from resurfacing?

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