I recently created a video, The Smallest Units of Intimacy, describing “bids” as any attempt a partner makes to try to connect with their partner. It could be a bid for time, for connection, for support, for humor, and so on. How partners typically respond to bids is highly predictive stability and happiness in the relationship.
My boyfriend and I rarely fight — and when we do, it seems to always come back to the same issue. I’m a more social person than he is. I like to go to occasional parties together and sometimes host friends at our place. He never wants to go to parties and and doesn’t like to host. We’ve spoken about it, but it continues to come up and be an issue, especially when I ask him to go to parties with me and he refuses. How do I keep this argument from resurfacing?