Intimacy

Three Toxic Relationship Behaviors: Part 2 – Up, Up & Away

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Couple Arguing

Research indicates that a powerful predictor of relationship harm is when the conflict starts at a low intensity but then starts to quickly escalate so that, like a space ship, once it’s launched you are up, up, and away heading to the dark outer rim of reason and emotional control. This is when partners become “flooded”, a reference to the brain releasing stress hormones, increased heart rate, and lizard brain survival instincts with listening and problem-solving skills not accesable. The frontal lobe, which controls impulse control and executive function is on pause – “Houston we have a problem”

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Try This Relationship Hack That takes 5.6 seconds

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Once you set this up with your partner it literally takes less than 6 seconds to put this relationship tool in action. As a couple therapist in private practice for over 40 years I learned from research, observations, and from the couples I worked with that once couples learn a intervention or communication tool the chances for ongoing success in its use increases a lot when partners understand not only how to use the tool, but also know why it works.

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Common Conversation Mistakes: Part 1

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We have learned from research the fastest and most effective way to build trust in a relationship. Before getting to the bottom line on building trust, let’s set the stage. You may have heard the expression, “Relationships are complex”. I imagine most people would agree with that statement. In any relationship there are inevitably going to be times when partners feel confused about what just happened in an interaction that went south.

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